THE ENCOURAGED PASTOR
A couple weeks ago I wrote some thoughts down that began, “It is hard for me to imagine a more discouraging job than being the pastor of a church.” I wrote those words on a Monday because they fully described how I was feeling then. And now, here I am a couple of weeks later and I honestly feel much better and yet, as I read those words, I certainly still agree with them. Less-discouraged Cody still agrees with extra-discouraged Cody, but I also think it would be honest and a bit more balanced to give the other side of the story. Because, in terms of getting to see the work of Christ in this messed up world today, it is hard for me to imagine a more encouraging job than being the pastor of a church.
I thought maybe I would take a different approach than that last article and give 5 things that leave a pastor genuinely encouraged. This feels less self-serving, a bit more practical and frankly I needed a little more structure to write this one. (It turns out discouraged angst just sort of floods out of you in descriptive word vomit but writing about encouragement takes a little bit more premeditated thought and methodical candor.)
One more qualifier before I start, I realize I am one pastor among many others, so someone might say, “What encourages you might not encourage my pastor, he’s nothing like you.” To that I would say, fair enough (and thank God he’s not haha), but I would also say I hang out with lots of different pastors (way more than you do) and what I wrote here was written with my friends in mind, not just me. So, maybe just give even one of these a shot and I promise you, without any doubt at all, your pastor will definitely not be the least bit bummed out that you did.
So here it is, 5 Things that Encourage Pastors:
Be nice.
What I mean by this is encourage your pastor like you would any other person who you were seeking to encourage! He is just like anybody else! He is encouraged by a nice note, a funny text message, a high five, a solid conversation, a cup of coffee, some lunch, a hug (if he’s into that) etc. Don’t complicate it. Just being nice really does go a long way!
One warning though, “being nice” to your pastor doesn’t mean “being best friends” with your pastor. It’s ok to not be best friends with your pastor. Just because he is called to shepherd the flock of God does not mean he is a universal best friend. He has interests, hobbies, and passions which will make it easier for him to be closer with certain members of the church than others. But he loves you! I swear he does! Your relationship with Jesus and your walk with Him matters to your pastor more than I have space here to write. Assuring you that you are loved and secure in Christ is the burden of your pastor’s life regardless if he is your best buddy or not.
But I will say this, being nice will not be the method that will most encourage your pastor. (Still do it though…and definitely don’t be mean!) The rest of the ways below will leave him more encouraged than any act of kindness ever could!
2. Be real.
I will tell you, one of the most discouraging things for a pastor is when he can tell that people around him are pretending to be a certain way simply because they are hanging around a pastor. That makes him feel isolated, inhuman, and lonely. Don’t talk to him using your best biblical vernacular and your “thee’s” and “thou’s.” Seriously, NOBODY actually talks like that! Don’t give him your best impression of what you think he wants to see. If it’s fake, I guarantee you he senses it and it isn’t fooling him at all, but rather he’s bummed out that you didn’t feel like you could just be yourself around him.
See, people tend to get this weird impression about pastors that they have forgotten what it was like to be lost or that they have some sort of above average ability to deny sin. And I will say, sometimes pastors propagate it by pretending that they have always been rock solid and almost fully sanctified. And to that I have nothing really to say except, “Pastors, knock it off…we aren’t impressed and you’re confusing everyone.” But for me and most of the pastors I know, we are still daily repenting of our own sin and fighting it along with everyone else. We talk like normal people and we have all the normal stresses and needs and inadequacies and insecurities. We also enjoy (most, but not all) the same forms of entertainment, we are definitely awkward and weird in some ways (just like you), but for all intents and purposes pastors are semi-normal guys. And I know it would definitely encourage your pastor if you showed him that you know that he is a real person who is saved by the same grace of Jesus as you.
3. Be faithful.
Honestly, one of the most encouraging things you could ever do for your pastor is simply be a growing, consistent, faithful Christian in your church. I cannot tell you how encouraging it is to see people consistently doing the things that we all know growing Christians should be doing. Read your Bible. Fight your sin. Pray regularly and often. Give what you have committed to the Lord to give to the local church. Do it consistently. Share the Gospel with the unbelievers in your life. Invite them to church. Show mercy and love to the poor and vulnerable. Attend a small group. Disciple a younger believer. Forgive people that have wronged you. Read good books that both challenge you and build you up. Serve consistently in ministries where the Lord has given you gifts to strengthen and build up His church. Serve there joyfully and humbly. Make Sunday worship a priority for you and your family, even willingly sacrifice to be there. Be a dependable, consistent Christian. To summarize, live your Christian life like you know Hebrews 10:24-25 is in the Bible and you are committed to faithfully obeying it for God’s glory. This might be the most encouraging thing you could ever do for your pastor that will help him endure in ministry (but I said 5, so I have 2 more…)
4. Be biblical.
Can we just be honest here? If our churches were full of people seeking to obediently follow with all of their hearts what the Lord has called for in His Word, then our churches would be beautiful communities of faithful people that were overflowing with grace and love and joy and service. But they aren’t. Often, they are filled with Christians who are as equally committed to their own agendas and passions as they are the agenda laid out by Jesus. People show up on Sundays with their own visions and expectations and when the pastor falls short of them, those people are offended, bitter, resentful and threaten to leave the church if their demands are not met quickly. But far too often, these expectations and demands have little to nothing to do with what God says at all and sadly, many times people hardly seem to care.
That may have sounded like a rant. Actually, it definitely was one haha! That may have been dis-couraged Cody making his way into this article, sorry about that. Really, all I mean by this is, don’t just say you believe the Bible, instead actually allow what the Bible says to determine what you do, how you do it, and what you expect of your pastor. Listen, you should have extraordinarily high expectations of your pastor because Scripture does. Some of those that come to mind, in no particular order are:
Hebrews 13:17,
James 3:1,
1 Peter 5:2-3,
Titus 1:5-9, 2:2,7,
1 Timothy 3:1-7, 4:6-16,
2 Timothy 4:2,
Ephesians 4:11-12
This is a very short list that could be much longer especially if you add to it what the Lord has laid out for all of His people. And everyone should have these expectations of their pastors and pastors should read these passages with great seriousness, with fear and trembling, and feel the unbelievable weight of them as they seek to fulfill the role that the Lord has called them to.
Now, with that said, Scripture is where your expectations need to stop and grace for your pastor’s particular personality needs to kick in… For example, just because he is called to preach the Word of God and be an example to the flock of God does not mean he is wicked fast at returning an ungodly amount of emails! I swear he wants to be, but often the anxiety over how people are going to read every single word that he types is crippling and he puts it off or waits for some extended time to think about it or he straight up forgets! Maybe he didn’t say “hello” to you like you’d prefer to be greeted or his conversation with you got cut short by some other person or need or he dresses a little more casual or formal than you would like or he is a little more awkward or busy or loud or boring or serious than you would prefer him to be…Can I just say loudly and boldly on behalf of all of my pastor friends, “WHO CARES?!” To declare that your pastor is not the perfect specimen of human being is right in line with the truth of the Gospel that he preaches to you every Sunday! He is not some sort of robot constructed by the perfect congregation to be the perfect pastor. He is a normal human being struggling with all of his strength and with all of his heart to be a really good pastor and it would encourage him greatly if you showed him that you know that. One of the best ways to encourage your pastor would be to keep your expectations of him biblical and let every other expectation be weighed carefully and filled with much grace.
5. Don’t quit!
Nothing, and I mean nothing, discourages a pastor more than when people leave the church. He questions his calling, his abilities, and sometimes even his very identity. Now, are there good reasons to leave a church? Of course. But most of those reasons would center around the mishandling and inaccurate understanding of the Gospel. When the Gospel becomes distorted or trivialized or abandoned altogether then it is probably time to begin having conversations with the elders and praying about leaving that particular church. But aside from that there aren’t a ton of great reasons (there are some other ones for sure and there are other great articles written about those reasons, if you’re interested, Google it.)
But most of the time the Gospel has nothing to do with why people leave churches. They leave because they’re bored or annoyed or frustrated or mad or simply underwhelmed. And here’s why that is a bummer: leaving for un-Gospel reasons declares something false about the Gospel itself. Leaving a church when you’re frustrated proclaims to those outside the church, “Our Gospel is powerless to keep the people of Jesus together if we get mad/offended/bored enough.” And that really isn’t true at all. If the Gospel can bring together Gentile and Jew or even rebellious creatures and holy Creator, then it can definitely hold together a disgruntled church member and their church community.
Perhaps an example will help paint a picture of what I mean: Last month I had breakfast with a member from our church (who may even read this article haha) who told me that our church’s stance on both women’s roles in the church and on spiritual gifts that came out in our series on 1 Timothy and 1 Corinthians had challenged his own views and made him uncomfortable at times. (Both of those views are hot-button issues that have caused lots of people to leave churches, by the way.) But he told me that he is so thankful for the work of the Gospel among our people that he has seen and experienced while he has been a member of our church, so these are things he is willing to leave open-handed and secondary because he sees the Gospel as central! Honestly, I am not sure I have ever been more encouraged as a pastor than I was in that particular conversation!
Will there be dry, boring seasons? Yep. Will your pastor preach things that you don’t like very much? Yep. Will you at some point become annoyed, frustrated, or offended? Probably. But maybe hang in there anyway. Maybe check out the first 4 points of this article and give those a try and maybe stick it out and see what happens. Jesus is coming back soon anyway. Maybe spend the rest of your days building up His church and as a byproduct of that you’ll leave your pastor a little more encouraged and all of this to the glory of God!
“Have confidence in your leaders and submit to their authority, because they keep watch over you as those who must give an account. Do this so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no benefit to you.” Hebrews 13:17